FILM REVIEW: "SCARY MOVIE" IS FRIGHTENINGLY DULL
A friend once told me that his great-great-grandfather would exhume corpses and sell them to medical schools. Harvard, actually, at one point of time. He was one of many; it was a lucrative trade. Sometimes, strangers were murdered to satisfy demand. In 1832, the Anatomy Act was introduced. It forbade graverobbing, arguing, beyond common courtesy, that if a tomb were disturbed, the owner would not be awoken come judgement day. There were riots, people were hurt; consensus swayed: dead things should be left in the earth.
Thirteen years since the franchise was buried, and twenty-three years since the original creators left it behind – the Wayan’s brother return to exhume their creations corpse with a sixth entry in the Scary Movie franchise.
Cindy, Shorty, Ray and Brenda find their families the target of a masked killer as they try to survive their own legacy sequel.
Like any franchise, Scary Movie is mired in highs and lows. The first two entries are considered cult classics, the third and fourth palatable, the fifth an utter mess. The return of the Wayan’s brothers – who have been missing since the second film – and the broader appeal of goofy comedies brought promise; unfortunately, Scary Movie fails to capitalize on the plethora of horror films at its fingertips, feeling rushed, ugly, unplanned, and only landing every tenth joke.
Horror, as a genre, is at an extremely healthy place critically and commercially. It is also one of the genres still routinely delivering original content and therefor fresh for the picking every few years. Scary Movie, however, ignores all the wonders horror has to offer, and follows the pace and plotting of Scream 5 (which is two films too late, and not a particularly good film in the first place). This does not work in the films favour. Whilst Weapons, Longlegs, The Substance and Sinners are all touched upon, these feel like afterthoughts and cut-away gags, rather than well utilized IPs. The film, evidently in development for some time, favours to spend its time parodying films like Ma and M3GAN, which are already relatively long-forgotten. One can’t help but wonder the possibilities of parodying films within the zeitgeist – e.g., Hereditary, The Conjuring, The Babadook, Halloween. The Scary Movie franchise has never been one to retread territory with each entry disassembling different territories of horror – returning to its Scream-parody roots seems needless, contrived, and inherently draws comparison to the superior original.
As aforementioned, Scary Movie doesn’t land as many jokes as one would wish, failing to capitalize on the plethora of horror films at its fingertips. It’s not without its laugh, though they aren’t nearly often enough. In the casts defense, they do what they can with their deliveries but it is the writing that routinely lets them down. Anna Faris and Regina Hall are endlessly watchable, whilst newcomers Olivia Rose Keegan, Savannah Lee Nassif and Cameron Scott Roberts do well with their deliveries, leading the legacy-sequel, new-era Scary Movie protagonists. Behind the camera, the colour department and lighting technicians attention to detail whilst replicating each individual films look deserves recognition.
Though advertised as a take-down on everything and everyone, Scary Movie doesn’t tread many lines. There are jokes about race, identity and everything in between but they’re delivered with the naivety of the early 2000’s rather than any political positioning. The Wayan’s find their comedic footing in the final moments of the third act. Scary Movie’s Ghostface reveal is superior to any reveal in the modern-era Scream films. For the last few minutes, the Wayan’s have some hilarious ideas about legacy sequels and studio intervention; however, the true genius of the joke is squandered by the previous 85 minutes.
The Naked Gun proved audiences are still eager for goofy comedies, Scary Movie, unfortunately, is not the successor we desire. Scary Movie sits in the middle echelon of its franchise and will prove hilarious to some and cringey to others. It misses more than it hits, but because it aims every fourteen seconds, it’s still a lot of hits.
At the end of the day, Scary Movie is the Wayan’s love letter to horror cinema – but it’s an awkward, misspelt love letter that makes one wonder if perhaps it should’ve remained as an epitaph.
