‘Tis An Insufferable Time of Year

A hush comes over Perth every mid-December. Most of us long for it. The annual month of down time from December to January. Personally, I hate it. Everything becomes a bit too quiet for me. The cherry on top is… Christmas.

What could be more excruciating than spending hours over typically hot food on a 35-degree day with people you have limited interaction with year-round? Ahhh, family. God love ‘em, someone has to.

This year I have a perfect hellish Christmas planned: I will start the day with a run and then a meeting with my parents before the family onslaught begins. We are hosting both lunch and dinner at our house. I really do love my family, but Christmas seems to bring out the worst in people – especially me. Since I was a child Christmas has always seemed burdensome. My birthday falls just before Christmas and is always overshadowed by the family affair. Yep, you could call me selfish.

Emotions are heightened, we are all on our best behaviour, animosities are (for the most part) pushed under the rug. The modern Australian Christmas is a confected beast of the most intolerable.

Indeed, it might be better to call it #instaChristmas. If you are not posting gorgeous looking photos with everyone having a good time you probably aren’t doing Christmas right in 2014.The food must be perfect, the gifts cute, the conversation adequately polite but with some depth, and one must never reveal our misgivings throughout the year.

Oh come on now. As an act of defiance against all of this one of my brother’s has decided to jump ship. He goes away every year around Christmas to avoid the ultimate family affair. I wish I had that chutzpah. In saying all of this, those that know me somewhat well realise that I have an enduring love and affection for my family. I will go out of my way for my parents, brothers and grandparents. When my family is in need I will be there.

 I long for a time when Christmas does not come with the wank. Serenity now, I am off to celebrate Festivus.