CHIP NATION: Going full Galati with Perth's definitive hot chip guide (NSFW)
Earlier this week Bill Murray was spotted eating fries from a stranger's plate- Who would blame him? We've all been there. The consensus at Isolated Nation is that chips are life. Our contributors have thought long and hard about the best chippy destinations and present to you our official guide!
PETITION
I walked in confidently. I waited calmly at the bar. I placed my order and sat down with a friend. And then out of nowhere I was delivered head first to St Peter in heaven. Yes, I am talking about the chips at Petition. Salty, crispy, potato-y and with the right amount of dip. They will melt in your mouth. Giving you a true understanding of deliciousness. To compare them to another is unfair, unjust and unAustralian. Pro tip: have them with a ginger beer and you’ll be on cloud nine.
“Two tonnes vinegar.
One metric tonne chicken salt,
Chips, season to taste.”
LORD OF THE FRIES
McDonalds 'loaded fries' has seemingly become the laughing stock of the chip community. Lord of the Fries has sought to compensate for this abomination with their extensive range of fries and condiments. Even better, Lord of the Fries is 100% vegetarian with a plethora of vegan alternatives. After discovering poutine in Quebec, Canada, I have aspired to open my own poutine food truck. Alas, a little hole in the wall on William street will suffice. Note the difference in presentation; moral of the story is looks aren't everything hunny.
NANDOS
I love you, Nandos PERi-PERi chips with PERInaise dip. You’re the perfect chip. You satisfy me, you’re consistent, you’re unique, you’re loyal and available. The perfect amount of gold, the perfect amount of seasoning, the perfect ratio of soft to crunch. The seriously large option has kept me company on many lonely nights. Of course Nandos is found throughout Australia, but I’ve done my research and Nandos North Perth does it best. Does you best. Does me best.
“Peri Peri chips,
Chips so good they named them twice,
Mmm, Peri Peri.”
BUCKING BULL
Bucking Bull chips and gravy are like a warm hug from mamma - comforting and loving. You love them, they love you back. Perfect for hangovers and any crisis you are experiencing, Bucking Bull's chips+gravy are here for you.
THE BIRD
They are like salted crack - once you start you can't stop. I'd recommend getting it in a group cos once I didn't and started wondering if I could overdose on carbs. In my opinion the seasoning is better than chicken salt and I'm pretty sure it iss vegan friendly too!
ARARAT KEBABS
This place ticks all the right boxes for a good old-fashioned hot chip. Always fresh and perfectly crispy. These aren't fancy chips. They aren't crusted with herbs or dusted with any magic powders. However, they are perfectly seasoned and delicious. Hot chips are always better with a view and a sit down by the Swan River is less than a minutes drive away.
BURGERMEISTER
The fuzzy feeling that harks back to lazy arvos at uni - the bowl of Burgermeister fries with German ketchup and Japanese Mayo dipping sauces. No other fries so consistently capture the impressive intersection of comfort and gourmet. Places like this give you the opportunity to try new burgers while being able to rely on the perfect crunch of fries.
JESTERS
You could be forgiven for thinking that jesters chips are a bit like McDonald's salads - a bit of an afterthought. But you'd be wrong. Jesters chips are a crispy delight coated in a seasoning that is best described as peri peri salt mixed with chicken salt mixed with crack rocks. Come for a nutty chook, stay for the chips.
THE MERRYWELL
If loaded fries that make you feel sorta ill (in a good way) are your thing, Merrywell is a must-visit. You can order their basic serving of fries, or load them up with chilli con carne and cheese or crispy bacon and BBQ sauce. These are fries with all the frills. These most definitely need to be shared, and should probably come with an artery-clogging health warning. But hey, grab a friend and treat yourself to one of the best food comas of your life.
LITTLE CREATURES
Little Creatures chips have quite the reputation preceding them. Perfectly crispy and crusted, Little Creatures chips are best with their signature aioli and a pint. Once you start on these you won’t be able to stop, so trust us when we say a serving is best shared. These aren’t fancy or fussy – but deliver every time. Best chips south of the river? We say best chips in the whole damn country.
ALFRED'S KITCHEN
Truth, trust, tradition. That’s Guildford Primary School’s motto and it seems to be a maxim for Alfred’s, too. Truth: Alfred’s chips are consistently delicious, not too soggy, not too crisp. Trust: You can count on hearing your number called from a kilometre away. Tradition: Dump all of the chips from the smaller white paper bags into one larger brown paper bag, salt the shit out of them, shake the bag and sit by the fire.
THE GROPER AND HIS WIFE
I had heard myths about this City Beach fish and chip shop being the best around. Having been closed for nearly two years for renovations, the Groper didn’t disappoint when I finally had a chance to try their chips out. A mid-sized chip, which had the right amount of crispy shell to the hot potato filling, was salted liberally with chunky bits of salt that didn’t over power the other flavours going on. Try with a light spray of vinegar, and you have one of Perth’s best chips. The fish is pretty good too.
LOT 20
Lot 20 ‘dutch fries’ are something a little different to your usual chip. Thin cut, crispy fries topped with satay sauce and mayonnaise – these are more than a little bit fancy. This strange flavour combination had us a little bit sceptical at first, but they are now a firm favourite. While Lot 20 boasts a pretty exciting menu for some after-work snacks or dinner, we think these dutch fries are the stand out.
“Chips are a canvas,
The paint is tomato sauce,
Ratio is art.”
