We all know those tinder dates you agree to with little thought. The ones you kind of instigate, but without any real thought. The ones you contemplate cancelling at the last minute because you have organised it for a stupidly busy time. Whatever. I went on one of these.

We went to the Beaufort Street Festival. It is a testament to it that it has become such a well attended event. In fact, it is not a stretch to suggest that it heralds the start of the mainstream summer festival scene of WA. A host of pop up venues with local music and DJ’s highlight the street fest, where the best of the Perth music scene can be experienced on one length of road.

It immediately struck me that there is an almost European feel to it.  It might be dark, but you have Babies in Prams, teenagers awkwardly standing with teenagers of the other sex, and Grey Babes together with all the other key age demographics. There’s a UniPerthal (sorry) appeal. The people around us were well suited to their groups. Fashionistas and bogans walked close to one another, but never the twain met. Like groups from your high school that were going to the same class, there was toleration as well as segregation.

The date wasn’t going great. We weren’t really compatible. We were discussing the people we were seeing. Lot’s of mid length hair on males. Shorts and short-sleeved shirts were popular for both sexes. Females were loving patterns, with special mention to paisley and floral ones. Caps and hats were also oddly popular for what had turned into night. I said ‘there are a lot of brunettes here’; she said ‘there are a lot of brunettes in the world’.

The Festival is a lot like a failed Tinder date in many ways. You know you like a lot of the things about it, you are attracted to it, but something just doesn’t really click. The music is good, the crowd is interesting, but the inability to drink as you wander the streets translates to something of a lack of atmosphere, making the disjointed collection of fashion, food and pointless indie stalls feel a bit contrived. HOWEVER, someone else will probably fall in love with the person you didn’t chime in time with, similarly many people will love the Festival.

‘You're very calculating’ she said. I asked what she meant, but she was reluctant in case she hurt my feelings. ‘Don’t worry, I have a big ego’ I assured her. She said she could tell. The date wasn’t going well. We reached the end of the festival, where street existed for travel and not entertainment. I told her something about me, she told me I spoke like I was from 1994.

Eventually we went our separate ways; she politely declined my lift home. I didn’t mind. The date didn’t go well.

Beaufort Street Festival – 6.5/10 Tinder Dates

Tinder Date – 4/10 Beaufort Street Festivals

P.S.

Dear Tinder Girl, I guess a 90's man like me just wasn't right for a contemporary soul like yourself. Thanks for giving my ego the trim it needed.